Hi all you cool dudes out there – it’s Mary Lazarus here, the swinging sister who’s hot as a blister (sorry this rapping lark is taking me over). I’m reporting on rehearsals of the 20th and 24th. As you all know we are putting on a show with Sister Mary Clarence called Sister Act to raise funds so we can keep our convent open. Things are desperate so some of our nuns have resorted to moonlighting as hookers and bar girls. I even offered favours to our resident musical director David in order to finish the rehearsal early on such a hot afternoon but unfortunately he turned me down saying he wasn’t easily bribed – ‘Easy, EASY!!!!’ – I’m a nun my dear boy and old enough to be your mother [Ed. note – grandmother].
Rehearsals are going well and we’ve even allowed men to join our ranks for some rehearsals although the Mother Superior is not all that happy at this turn of events….
we even had 3 extra hours of ‘choir practice’ with David on Sunday – not that we need it because this is going to be superb show.
I don’t know if you heard on the outside of the convent on this interweb thingy but a fellow nun said I’ve been 60 years in the convent – I’ll have you know I’m only 50 now [Ed. note – Yeah right!!!!] Anyway she has now been transferred to a convent in Outer Mongolia – but of course that had nothing to do with me [Ed. note – get straight off to confession]
It’s really exciting – I never thought i’d see nuns singing and dancing the way we do. I think even Mother Superior is softening up.
So please do send us your comments dear sisters and brothers (as I look forward to pulling them to pieces.)
Til the next time – God bless you all
Sister Mary Lazarus (aka Anne)